Taking dating to the next level
It’s part of the binary-view of social skills that guys tend to get brought up in; you’re good with women or you aren’t. You can point to the world at being unfair or complain that other people demonize your natural-if-awkwardly-expressed desires. As it turned out, the way I was practicing slowed me down.
It absolves you, in many ways, of having to do any self-examination. Without meaning to, I had actually made things more difficult.
That’s why it’s important to find ways to integrate practicing the skills you want to develop into your everyday life.
Fortunately, when it comes to dating, those opportunities are Let’s go back to the example of cold approaches.
Once you understand that, you’re in a position to learn those skills far faster than you ever realized.
One of the reasons why a lot of guys get frustrated learning how to flirt and date is that we try to do too much, all at once.
And since downtown doesn’t really get started until around 10 PM, that meant there was a Learning a new skill in a timely manner isn’t about cutting down the time it takes to learn it – you’re going to learn at your own pace, regardless of what you do – it’s about making it more efficient.
In my case, if I wanted to practice, I had to go get gussied up, maybe get ahold of some of my friends or regular wingmen and head out to the bars.
Like trying to drive without leaving first gear, I was gonna get there eventually but it was going to take fucking .
They’re part of how we socialize; the only difference is in how we use them and the end goal.
If you’re going to try to improve at basketball, you run drills, you take shots, you work on your hustle. Now it makes sense that – especially at the time – if I wanted to get good at picking up girls and bars, then I needed to spend time picking up girls in bars.
If you want to get better at an academic discipline, you study, you read, you memorize, you take tests. That was practicing my skills at specific times – nights out, occasional daytime approaches – I was slowing myself down.