Hesitant about dating

Everyone (I repeat, everyone) has a little baggage. Instead, there's so much merit in having the patience to introduce a topic to someone only when you're ready, and broaching it at the depth with which you are most comfortable.

You don't need to get drunk, cry, and sit in your Volkswagen chugging Cab and laying it all out there as they look on awkwardly. If they don't handle it well, it's more a testament to who they are than who you are.

Date someone who lovingly pushes you to become more who you are at your core as a person.

Date someone who nudges you outside of your comfort zone regularly and helps you level up in life.

It often seems that we're so focused on "winning" one another over that we don't consider what a relationship will be like when the cards are down and there are actual human needs that require satisfaction.

(*non-committal gasp*)Caution is often considered the less-exciting step-sister of more exotic behaviors, like one-night stands and, you know, general millennial tomfoolery.

Until one fateful day when I met someone who shook up my world entirely. My ego’s first self-protective instinct was to run away and revert back to my old unproductive habits. I had to repeatedly breathe into the deeper layers of anxiety as I let myself be seen more and more by her.

Reminding yourself to stay grounded isn't the most scintillating behavior.

But I intend to make an argument for it, in favor of redefining our current dating culture. Here are five reasons why being a cautious dater is a good thing.

As much as mainstream media would prefer you to think otherwise, the best relationships are not all sunshine and roses.

Relationships are the ultimate vehicle for self-growth…

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Avoid any contact with her in case she might make you feel big, scary emotions again. So if you’re at a place in your life where you are starting to see someone who challenges you, confronts you, and scares you on some level, take stock of whether or not you think they might be a force for positive change in your life.

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