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So, through the comedy of follies that is my dating life, I’ve pieced together my own tips, tricks, and “dating rules,” adapted from the horrific advice I’ve culled from the internet. And because of that, I’m telling you from the jump that these tips are not meant to be prescriptive to anyone but myself. These are the rules living by from now on, whether they work for other people or not. After being raised on a steady diet of Disney movies, I expected to meet someone and fall passionately in love — but wound up collapsing under the pressures of modern dating.
My hope is that, in reading these, you’ll get a little introspective, and maybe come up with your own tips and tricks. Luckily, I eventually realized that there's no "right" way to date, and that I need to find happiness within myself, no partner needed.
Most of the time, the advice is written by people who’ve found partners and can now condescend to tell you exactly what to do to be as blissfully paired as they are (or, at least, that’s what it feels like).
I think you’ll agree with me when I say: Fuck that noise.
It’s Not You is where I write to calm the voices in my head — and hear from all of you.
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Setting ground rules for your own dating life will keep your emotions in check and may even increase your chances of finding a suitable partner.It’s something that so many people do — whether they’re in a relationship or not — and my guess is that it might have something to do with a need to feel in control.When things go badly in our relationships, it’s easy to feel out of whack and want to make sense of it all.According to Schneider, it's particularly important to allow men the ability to pursue you in this modern age of technology. Once a guy knows you're interested by initiating conversation, it kind of throws the whole chase off." Schneider cautions women to not be so accessible."If I can reach you on Facebook, can text you or tweet you - there's no mystery. It's just instant hook-ups and contact and everything's last minute," says Schneider. "Women are texting guys in the middle of the night, back and forth for hours, and they're not getting dates.
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During my single heydey, I’d Google myself into a tizzy, trying to piece together the right set of tips to make myself appear carefree, cool, and sexy — the type of woman any man would want to wife up (ugh).